February 26, 2014

Indy Ex-Pat: Realities of Moving- The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

By Beth Williamson

We moved from Indianapolis to Raleigh, NC, six months ago, and it has been an interesting and mostly positive journey for our family. From my perspective, here are the benefits and drawbacks of making a major move.

The Good
Change is refreshing.
We moved from an urban area to a suburban area, which is not something we ever thought we wanted, but we love it. Our neighborhood has large wooded lots, creeks, lakes, a playground, a pool, and wildlife. It's so peaceful here, and it's a great place for the kids to grow up. The kids responded well to moving and seemed to view it as a fun adventure. It even sparked a new interest in geography for our four-year-old son.

No more IPS worries.
Our IPS boundary school was one of the worst in the district, and trying to get our son into a magnet, charter, or private school that could provide the right environment and special needs services was stressful. Here, he qualified for more special education services than he did in Indianapolis, and we are really seeing the payoff with improved social skills and better behavior. He is going to begin kindergarten this summer at our neighborhood school, which is one of the best in the district, and he is expected to require minimal special education services. This is truly an answer to our prayers.

The weather.
Yes, I'm rubbing it in. We were still swimming in October, and I have rarely needed a heavy coat this winter. We have actually had a pretty bad winter by North Carolina standards, but it's still better than a normal Indiana winter. We're very thankful that we got to miss the 2013-2014 Indiana winter in particular. Just don't ask me how I feel about the weather when I'm sweltering in July.

The Bad
Being far from family.
Both sets of grandparents are in central Indiana, and they really miss the kids. We will probably see them four times per year, but we still feel guilty for moving their grandchildren so far away. We were also accustomed to having the grandparents available to babysit, and it has been difficult not having them nearby. I actually don't mind paying for a sitter because they actually follow instructions instead of spoiling the kids rotten. However, it's hard for me to go to the doctor or dentist, and date nights are rare. It's also hard to not have any support when I'm ill or Andy is traveling for work. I keep telling myself it will get easier as the children get older.

Getting connected is hard.
We underestimated just how many churches here would be Southern Baptist, which we are not. Although there are a few denominations we're willing to consider, this has limited our choices, and we have yet to find a church the whole family likes. I thought I would join a new MOPS group, too, but I will have to wait until next year because the meetings conflict with our son's current school schedule. It's also hard to get to know neighbors during the winter months, especially since our houses aren't very close together. We don't feel like we've failed, though, because we haven't made much of an effort to get connected. We expect to meet more neighbors as the weather improves and the pool opens, and I'm joining the neighborhood book club to meet some new people now.

The Ugly
House-hunting with kids is the absolute worst. Our daughter fell down a flight of stairs and absolutely refused to be held. Our son used the bathroom in a house where the water was turned off, wrote on the walls of another house with lipstick, and threw two of the most epic fits I've ever seen while we were driving home from house-hunting, complete with hurling toys at our heads. Of course, that really has been the only really awful part about making a major move, and we were still able to find a house fairly quickly.

Overall, I think it's worth it to make a major change every once in a while, especially if, like us, you feel that God is leading you to make that change. We feel like there is so much to look forward to in our new home, and we can't wait to see what the future brings.